Prologue for the Book

It has been 6 months of looking after Aleeshya and all I know is that I am exhausted, my work quality has started to deteriorate and my wife is at the brink of passing out from fatigue and our wonderful little girl is still a handful. Am I doing something wrong here or do other fathers also go through this? So, off I went to a major bookstore near my workplace in search for a book on a father’s experience in juggling work, spouse and child. There I am at the parenting section, 5 shelves full of books on parenting - 6 rows per shelf and a about 40 books per row. “Excellent. There is bound to be something here”, I say to myself. Alas, of the 1,200 books on parenting, there were only 3 books relevant to fatherhood experiences. Hence, I bought all 3 and also set myself on track to putting down my personal experiences in the hope that other fathers like me might not feel so alone, frustrated and guilty during this irreplaceable period of their life.

The book is not meant to be a guide on raising children. It is a book on the myriad experiences of a new dad and the jumble of emotions he feels as he plods through the first six months of his daughters life. It is hoped that by sharing his experiences, other new dads who have no clue of what to do need not feel guilty for their feelings of frustration. Any facts described in the book is either from personal experiences or secondary information from friends and family.

Should I Or Shouldn't I

Husband: Recently, I have been thinking about writing a book.

Wife: So, what do I know about writing a book?

Husband: Absolutely nothing.

Wife: What will you write about then?

Husband: About our experiences raising baby girl ... but a little skewed towards what fathers go through.

Wife: You sure someone wants to read about that?

Husband: I don't know. I know I would. However, no one seems to have written much about it. So, should I?

- What do you think? -

p.s. The conversation transpired completely in the author's mind and is in no way a reflection of his loving albeit somewhat exhausted wife.

Shopping Advice

We are back in Malaysia for various reasons. Am so loving it and can't wait for my sentence in Mumbai to be over. Needless to say, one of the first two things I could think of upon arrival was nasi lemak and shopping. However, being a recent first time parent, shopping revolved around getting stuff for our daughter. So we decided to visit Baby Land in PJ in search for some baby food since we have just started Aleeshya on solids.

There we were getting baby food as I passed a couple (of soon to be parents) getting advice from the shop assistant on the Phillips Avent Breast Pump. Of course, me being me, I just couldn't help myself but stop and give my two bit worth of advice on it. After all, I felt obligated to say something after all the problems we had with it, especially after the manufacturer refused to honour the warranty citing mishandling of the equipment on our part. Nonetheless, I think I was fair to Phillips as I suggested to the couple that they should have someone teach them how to use the pump properly lest they end up having the same issues with both the pump and the manufacturer as we did.

We had recommended that they should rent the Madella Lactina from Mamalink if they wanted to have a dependable breast pump machine. The would be mother was so excited that she immediately called them up and made an appointment to visit them that very day itself. While we never did bother to know who they were, we felt truly happy that we had helped reduce the stress and anxiety of that couple. After all, expressing milk is extremely stressful, filled with a roller coaster ride of emotions for the mother and for the father too as he finds ways to be emotionally supportive to his wife.

A Working Getaway

It has been one crazy week. The Delhi trip went well - work wise, although my baby had stopped feeding well. It had been a crisis on both fronts and juggling it had been stressful and draining at the same time. As if that wasn't bad enough, the fog in Delhi seemed to have conspired to ruin everything I hold dear in my life. Thankfully all went well enough, thanks to an understanding boss, a helpful colleague and an accommodating wife.

Chennai went much better and I must admit it is a much nicer place than Bombay, for me at least. The roads are better and we are not so anxious about taking our little darling around the city. Before you know it, the craziness of the whole trip is over and so is the little break I had after that.

Now we are back home and I am dreading the drudgery of Bombay life, the city that is so in your face that anyone would feel claustrophobic and desensitised over time. Glad it is only a year left to go. Both mother and daughter have fallen asleep. Thankfully, mummy is far more efficient than daddy, since she had been on her feet getting everything sorted out without a moments rest.

I definitely have to spend much more time at home at least in the evenings and hence will need to figure out how best to reschedule my working life.

Well thats all for now. Next working trip is Goa.

-pshasi

A New Year, A New Beginning

It is the 5th of January 2010. It is amazing how the decade has passed and how much life has changed. In 2000, I was alone and depressed for reasons only my closest family and friends know why. In 2010, I am married to a wonderful woman and am also blessed with a darling of a daughter.

The new year has brought across the shores of Malaysia, for we (Vasantha, Aleeshya and I) have finally moved to Mumbai. As I look from the dining table over to the hall where Aleeshya is fast asleep, I cannot help be grateful to God for the miracle that we call children. Aleeshya is a bundle of joy to us and no matter how exhausted we are, her innocent smile never seizes to energise us in our care for her. Aleeshya is slowly starting to stir, so I best end this entry for now.

Until next time, laters all.

-pshasi